How to Make Validation Your Secret Leadership Superpower

---

If there’s one thing I notice in leaders across industries, it’s this: strong leadership isn’t about having all the answers. It's about relationships - and more specifically, about how people feel when they work with you.

One of the most overlooked tools leaders have, is validation. Not praise. Not flattery. Validation. The simple, human act of letting someone know that they are seen, heard, and valued.

When validation is missing at work, relationships suffer quietly. People disengage, motivation dips, stress increases and, performance becomes harder to sustain. When it’s present, something very different happens; trust grows, effort increases, and people are far more willing to bring their best.

From a business psychology perspective, validation isn’t a soft skill. It’s a leadership multiplier.

---

Why Feeling Valued Changes Everything at Work

We’re wired to want to matter. That doesn’t stop when we walk into the office.

When employees don’t feel valued, it shows up in subtle ways: fewer ideas shared, lower energy in meetings, a “just get through the day” mindset. Over time, this affects productivity, retention, and culture.

Research backs this up. The American Psychological Association has found that employees who feel valued report better mental and physical health, higher engagement, and greater motivation than those who don’t. Feeling valued isn’t just good for people - it’s good for business.

How Do You Turn Validation Into a Habit, Not a One-Off?

Let’s break it down into four practical steps.

Step 1: Shape a Culture That Shows People They Matter

Culture isn’t what’s written on the wall. Culture is how people experience work under your leadership.

Ask yourself honestly: What does it feel like to work for me?

Do people feel safe speaking up? Do they feel respected, even when things go wrong?

Validation starts here. An employee-centric culture doesn’t mean lowering standards or avoiding accountability. It means creating an environment where people know they matter as individuals, not just as outputs.

A simple place to start: notice what gets acknowledged. Do you only speak up when something’s wrong, or do you also recognise effort, progress, and contribution? What you consistently validate becomes part of your culture.

Step 2: Be Present, Listen Deeply, and Show You Care

One of the clearest ways leaders communicate value is through attention.

Being present sounds simple, but it’s surprisingly rare. When you listen without interrupting, when you put the laptop away in a one-to-one, when you ask a follow-up question instead of jumping to solutions - you’re validating the person in front of you.

Try this in your next conversation:

Instead of responding immediately, reflect back what you’ve heard.

“Let me check I’ve understood you correctly…”

That small pause can change the entire tone of the interaction. Published studies, including Springer, show that leaders who demonstrate empathy create more engaged, innovative, and loyal teams. People work harder for leaders who make them feel understood.

Step 3: Validate Through Ownership and Trust

One of the strongest forms of validation isn’t verbal at all, it’s trust.

When you give people ownership over work that aligns with their strengths and interests, you’re sending a clear message: I believe in your capability. That belief is incredibly motivating.

Psychological research, particularly Self-Determination Theory, shows that autonomy and competence are key drivers of motivation. People are far more engaged when they feel trusted to contribute meaningfully.

At your team meetings: Invite your team into decision-making where possible. Ask for their ideas before offering your own. Encourage different viewpoints, even when they challenge you.

Step 4: Respect Their Life Outside Work

Validation doesn’t stop at performance conversations.

Acknowledging that your employees have lives beyond their job is one of the clearest signals that you value them as whole human beings. This might mean respecting boundaries around after-hours communication, offering flexibility where possible, or simply checking in during demanding periods.

Work-life balance isn’t a perk, it’s a leadership responsibility. Organisations that actively support wellbeing see lower burnout, higher productivity, and better retention. When people feel supported, they show up with more energy and creativity.

Ask thoughtful, boundary-respecting questions like:

• How are you managing your energy lately?

• What flexibility would help you balance work and life right now?

• What’s important for me to know about how you like to work when life gets busy?

Caveat: only ask these questions if you’re genuinely prepared to listen and respond. Nothing erodes trust faster than asking and then doing nothing with what you hear.

Final Tip for Leaders

Respecting life outside of work doesn’t mean becoming a therapist or crossing boundaries. It means acknowledging that people bring their whole selves to work, and leading in a way that honours that reality.

Validation isn’t about being nice or avoiding difficult conversations. It’s about how you deliver feedback, how you listen, and how consistently you communicate respect.

The leaders I see having the greatest impact understand this: when people feel valued, they give more of themselves. Not because they have to, but because they want to.

And that’s where real performance comes from.